Total Depravity

The following is taken from "Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine." By Wane Grudem. It can be found in chapter 24, on page 497.
"In our natures we totally lack spiritual good before God: It is not just that some parts of us are sinful and others are pure. Rather, every part of our being is affected by sin - our intellects, our emotions and desires, our hearts (the center of our desires and decision-making processes), our goals and motives, and even our physical bodies."
"In our actions we are totally unable to do spiritual good before God: This idea is related to the previous one. Not only do we as sinners lack any spiritual good in ourselves, but we also lack the ability to do anything that will in itself please God and the ability to come to God in our own strength."

As I write this, I feel the weight of it. God is holy and perfect and pure and righteous and glorified and I am so far on the other end that I war against those things. I was created perfectly and in relationship with God for the purpose of bringing glory to Him, but because of sin I broke that relationship with God and was no longer able to be in community with Him. In my state of death and destruction, I was not even able to see my need to get out of death and destruction. I was ruining myself with a downward spiral of sin that would eventually lead to death and eternal wrath as a punishment for my sin. This is total depravity.

Ephesians 2:1-3 (ESV)
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."

Doesn't sound good does it? This is scary. I was by nature a child of wrath. In my state of total depravity, I was so unable to love God that I was living in the passions of my flesh, completely disregarding God and his purpose for me and my life.

Romans 3:10-11: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God."

Even as I talk through this I understand my depravity better. I am learning from me telling my wife what total depravity is. Even in my understanding of depravity I am depraved.

I don't write this to discourage anyone, only to encourage Bible-centered beliefs which will lead to right action and the glory of God. If you are discouraged by this please call me and I would love to talk to you, or post a comment and I will respond. Also, if you don't understand or agree with this, let me know and let's talk about it. I always desire to learn more and more about how God operates because it always leads me to a great appreciation of who he is, which brings him more glory.

What I Believe...

Life as a Christian is an interesting one. I have been reconciled, restored, renewed, saved, and am being sanctified through the persistent work of the Holy Spirit to bring me into a closer relationship with God, thus better reflecting His glory through my life.
In this process, God has revealed certain things about Himself that have given me a better understanding of His character and have given me more love for Him.
A big controversy in the history of Protestant life, has been Calvinism. I believe that John Calvin had an awesome understanding of conversion and how God works. I also believe that many people today write off Calvinism as something crazy either because they have been a victim of a "Calvinist," or they simply don't understand what it is.
I will attempt to convey the five points in five blogs that will hopefully give us a better understanding of our creator and stir up our affections towards Him.

The next 5 blogs will be:

Total Depravity
Unconditional Election
Limited Atonement
Irresistible Grace
Perseverance of the Saints

I only ask that you be patient and graceful with me as I am still trying to understand these points better. I would love to hear from you on your beliefs as well. The goal of this is simply to discuss spiritual things in hopes that our love and affection for God will grow and change us, drawing us closer to Christ.

Not on my own

Sometimes life seems like a game. I fight and fight to get ahead, then something happens that takes everything I fought for and I start all over again. I then dust myself off, clean myself off, and go at it again. The same thing happens again. I have tried and tried to figure this thing out but for some reason I can't. When I view life through the lens of my own glory and refuse to see the world like Christ wants me to see it, I repeatedly fail at life. It seems like some people are gifted at getting on top of life, but I am not one of them.
I think my problem lies not in my methods, but in my goals. I battle with myself, going from living life for me to living life for God and then back again. When I seek my own gain, my main desire seems to be money. Not for the sake of having money, but so that I can provide for my family. When it seems like I am getting close to reaching this goal, God reminds me that this life is lived for His glory and not my own, so either He pulls my feet out from under me, or I sabotage myself and go the opposite direction. I then find myself in some awesome God-time, walking closely with Him. Life feels great. Unfortunately, this doesn't last long. I'll get a bill that I don't think I can pay, and then I'm back in the rat race again, trying to plan ways to make money.
I had breakfast today with my pastor and realized what I need. I need to die to myself and let Christ rule in me. I need to realize that I have been bought with the price of Christ's blood and I am now the property of an awesome God who gives more joy than any earthly thing can bring. I need to let go of the things of this world and cling to my Saviour with everything I have. The only problem is, I can't do it on my own. I need God to do it for me. I am so helpless and I love it.
Praise God for loving me enough to do everything for me so that His name might praised and His glory might be made known in my life.
I know this is kinda rambling, but that's what a blog is for :)

Here we go!

Last night I, with the help of my wife and John, folded, addressed, signed, stamped, and stuffed a ton of letters. This letter is not just an ordinary letter, but is my first support letter for the Australia church plant. This is kind of a big deal for me. Up until now, all that has happened for the move to Australia was talking. This is the first actual step towards getting to Australia and planting a church. I'm super excited to get the wheels rolling and can't wait to see how God is going to bring people alongside us as we journey on towards the works he has prepared in advance for us to do. I am so very thankful for all of the people who have come alongside me and supported me through all the growth that has happened in my walk with God, and am equally thankful for those I haven't even met yet who will help me grow more and more. Australia gets me excited. Not just because it's Australia, but because God has called me and a small group to bring the Gospel to those he will redeem in Geelong! It's amazing being a part of what God is doing in the world!
On a side note, I got up at 5:30 today and went for a swim. I am really tired and a little sore and disappointed at how out of shape I am.

Life in Pearland

We recently moved to Pearland, just outside of Houston, where we will be learning as much as we can about church planting, then we are off to Australia to plant a church in Geelong, just outside of Melbourne.
So far, Pearland has been rough on us. There are many reasons that being here is so difficult, but the hardest thing about being here is the people we miss back in central Texas. I miss my small group. I miss Grace Bible Church. I miss my old pastor, Dave Mac. I miss people at my old job who became friends of mine. I really miss my old Chris.
Being away from people who genuinely love me and know how to really love me makes life difficult. Even as I write this, there are tears in my eyes. I miss having a best friend. I miss lunches that are too short to talk about all we wanted to say.
I have definately learned from all of this. I can't do it alone. I cannot chase after God without someone chasing next to me. Maybe there are people who can pursue God on their own, but I'm not one of them. My relationship with God has suffered recently. I'm not blaiming it on someone else, but my relationship with has taken some hits lately.
I guess this is just an encouragement to find someone who will come alongside you as you attempt to journey towards God and worship Him. If your relationship with God matters to you, and you wish to see that relationship grow, find someone who will be willing to speak harsh words when they need to be spoken, and who will hug you when you need a hug. I understand why Barnabas was so important to Paul. I can see why Jesus immediately grabbed 12 guys to do this thing with him. We are built to be in relationships with other believers. We are made for community.

It's A Boy!!

My wife and I went to the doctor today for an ultrasound and found out we're having a son in October!! When the lady told us, Laura cried and I got super excited. I almost shouted. I am so happy to have little girls, and I would've been pumped to have another one, but I am amazingly stoked to get a little boy. About 5 seconds after I almost shouted, I started to realize what had just happened. I have to raise a man. I am going to raise a son who will one day lead his family. I don't really know what to do with a boy. I have learned a ton about how to parent daughters, but I don't know anything about parenting a son. I have a lot to learn. Luckily, God is in control and is going to help me raise this little one, and He is hopefully going to pull this little boy out of death and destruction and into the family of God. My biggest prayer for this new one, as well as for the ones who are already here, is that he will be redeemed. I pray that God would snatch him out of death and bring him into life. I also am praying that God would teach me how to raise a son. Boys are very different than girls, and I am praying that I will be able to parent my kids accordingly. I don't really know what to think right now, but I do know that God is in control and is going to teach me how to love the crap out of this little man.

Stress

This last month has been absolutely crazy! I finished my classes at the university, so we are now looking for a job and a home in Houston. I have been to Houston once a week in my search and have so far been unsuccessful. Houston is expensive. To get a similar house in a similar neighbourhood as the one we're in now, I am going to have to pay $400 more each month! And that doesn't include the fact that electricity is more expensive in Houston. In my search for a home and a job, some faith issues surfaced. Turns out I don't trust God as much as I thought I did. For me, it's easy to say I trust God when everything is relatively stable, but when things start getting crazy, my true level of trust comes out and I am ashamed to say it's pretty miserable. I spent a day praying over the whole situation and that I would trust God more. It helped. At the end of the day I really felt God saying that he has always got me through everything and he's not going to stop now. I am beginning to gain some trust, but still nothing has happened. I still don't have a job and I still don't have a house, and I will still be moving in 3 weeks, but I know that God has everything worked out just right.

P.S. We could really use some prayer that we would find a house and I would find a job and that we would continue to trust God more and more.

Fear

I decided long ago that my priority in life is God and the pursuit of knowing Him, whatever that means. I am discovering that fear often takes over my decision making abilities. On the flip side, I am a passionate guy who goes all out or not at all. I believe that if something is worth doing, then I am going to give it all I got. If something isn't worth doing, I'm simply not going to do it. This has sometimes made my marriage difficult. I will decide that I am going to get involved in something, then I'll spend money and time I don't have on whatever it is I decided I'm going to do. I have spent too much money on things I don't even use anymore. For example, I spent about $150 on a bowling ball, a bowling ball bag, and bowling shoes, which I used for about two months and haven't touched since. I was into MMA, so I bought some nice MMA shorts, which I still wear because they are the most comfortable shorts in the world, some great MMA gloves, training gloves, mouthpiece, and a membership to the Grappler's Lair where I trained sometimes 5 days a week. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast getting beat up everyday, and met some good friends and got the chance to injure a cop, but this was all wants and desires rather than needs. Anyways, having decided that the pursuit of God is number one in my life, I am moving my two kids and pregnant wife to a suburb of Houston where I will hopefully learn a little bit about how to start a church. As soon as I have a good grasp on it, or after I've been there a year and a half, I will move my wife and three children half way around the world to a land we've never been to with people we don't know in order to learn as much as I can about God. The biggest difference between pursuing God and pursuing my own little interests, is that pursuing God has the authority to change everything. As I pursue God, I am willing to go where I need to go, do what I need to do, and change what I need to change all for the benefit of knowing Him more. As I pursue wants and desires, they do not have the authority to move my family, impoverish me, set me up for failure, or take away from my end goal in life, "To glorify God by enjoying Him forever." Not to say that this always happens perfectly. Being a selfish person, I naturally seek my own gain rather than the gain of the God I am seeking to know more. I constantly have to confess to God my lack of single-mindedness, and must take hold of the grace He has freely given me through the cross of Jesus the Christ.
Anyways, fear creeps in constantly in this journey to God-closeness, and I have to remind myself again and again how much He loves me and how He is molding my life into Christlikeness. I have to remember that even though circumstances might be difficult at the time, God is still here and still loves me and will finish the good work He begun in me. I am scared of moving to a country that is not my own. I am afraid of failure in another part of the world and no means of getting home. I am afraid of my own lack of faithfulness in this journey. I am fearful of being hated by people. I am terrified that in my own pursuit of God, I will unknowingly put my children in an unsafe place and something will happen to them.
I have to remind myself that God has called me to Himself and has a plan for my life and it is not for my bad, but His good.

Confession

I had the awesome pleasure of hearing one of my spiritual heros present a great talk on his new book, "God Next Door." The book, and his personal philosophy on ministry, is all about seeing your neighbourhood as a place of ministry and mission. His whole presentation focused on how we have decentralized community and no longer love our neighbours. In today's society, the home is no longer the center of our communities. Back in the day, the neighbourhood was the place of community and fellowship, and now we don't even know our neighbours.

This hit me in the face. I really want to be on mission in my neighbourhood, but I am extremely horrible at it. I have talked to my neighbours, but I don't really know them. I haven't tried to have my neighbours over for dinner, I haven't reached out to my neighbours, I haven't shared the Gospel with my neighbours. I have failed at community within my neighbourhood. I have failed at loving my neighbours. I have removed the people who live close to me from who I consider neighbours.

Father, put in me a deep desire to honor you by loving my neighbour. Help me to live as Christ and not care about anything else in this life. Teach me to love.

Good vs. Great

I had a discussion with a great friend of mine and I thought I'd share a little bit about what we decided.
He had brought up the idea of good vs. great a couple of months ago when talking about songwriting. He said that if we as songwriters get stuck on something good, like a good melody or a good guitar line, we will never find what is great. He was telling me that if I like a song and have something good, to throw it out and write something great. I took the principle and applied it to life as a Christian. So many times I settle for good when God offers me great. Let me explain what I mean. As a follower of Jesus, I have offered to me the greatness of knowing God. He reveals himself to me as I love and serve him and that is his desire for my life. John 17:3 says that eternal life is knowing God. The Bible says that God desires to give us abundant life, which is knowing God and walking in His grace and mercy and getting to be a part of His greatness and glory. As a weak, small little man, I often trade knowing God for doing good. I determine that rather than sinking into God and who he is, I will just be good and do the right things. That's fine, but it's not what God wants for me. He wants me to know Him and to walk everyday in his love and mercy. He wants me to delight in Him and in return he will give me the desires of my heart. He wants me to draw near to him and in return he will draw near to me. He wants his grace to be enough in my life, so that I don't need anything else.
We were applying this concept to our local church. How often we settle for good: nice Sunday morning service, good music, we look good from the outside, we are morally good, we dress up, we are growing in numbers a little bit, we have a few baptisms a year, occasionally a small group will get too big and have to split; when God wants GREAT for His church: people coming into the family daily, the love among us to be so great that people come into our body in droves, the city we live in to be changed by our love for God and his love for us, transformation in the lives of the church, the name of Jesus to be proclaimed boldly and gracefully, a deep and passionate love for the lost that Jesus' name might br praised louder in Killeen. We sacrifice going after greatness for staying in goodness. I'm not saying we're not doing things right, because we are doing somethings right. I'm just saying I want more. I want to have to plant churches all over Killeen because we can't find a building big enough to house all the new believers. I want the city of Killeen to be known for its love for Jesus. I want every new soldier that comes into Fort Hood to be totally and completely loved by this community. I want Killeen to grow because everyone wants to be a part of this community of love. I want God to be glorified and praised in everything we do.
Why settle for good when God wants great?

Knowing God

God has really been working on me this week. He has hit me with some huge realizations about the Christian life, and even more about a life as a pastor. I have been convicted about my lack of passion for the Word. If I'm going to be a pastor, I have to be as awesome pastor. By awesome, I mean that I have to know the Bible because I will be held accountable for how I teach it. If I am to be an awesome pastor and really know the Word, I must dig into it with a ferocity I have not yet grasped. This week, through a couple different things, God confronted my laziness in regards to digging into his Word, and has renewed my mind through his Word. He showed me just how important knowing him is. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (Jn 17:3). I guess it's good that right now I'm reading "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer. Hopefully God will continue to pull me closer and closer to him as I begin to dig into his word and get to know him better

Co-Labourers

Last week I went to Canada with my church planting class. We went to the baptist seminary in Cochrane which is just outside of Calgary in the province of Alberta. The purpose of the trip was to learn about church planting in Canada, and to learn more about God's grace. I think the mission was accomplished.
We arrived at the seminary late Saturday night and went to sleep pretty quickly. Early Sunday morning, James Hoskins and I left for Lethbridge, a city of 80,000 people 3 hours southeast of Cochrane. We attended A Place Called Hope (http://www.aplacecalledhope.ca), which is a southern baptist church. The church meets in the gymnasium of an elementary school there in Lethbridge. In Lethbridge, about 40% of the people attend some sort of religious service on Sunday mornings, and about half of those are Mormans. The percentage of born-again evangelical Christians is estimated between 7 and 10%. The church is about 3 years old. Having been born and raised in bible belt Texas, I have developed a very small world view, and have a hard time believing the numbers that people claim about Christianity in the world. I don't understand how there are parts of America that don't have very many Christian churches, and that there are places in America where the name of Jesus isn't proclaimed out of love. Going to Canada gave me a fresh glimpse of the difficulties of planting a Jesus-loving church in a place where so few other Christ-followers live. Pastor Scott Dollar left his job here in the States to move to a city where I believe he is the only Baptist church, and one of the few evangelical churches in the city. He moved to a city where he knew the Gospel would meet resistance. He chose to move his family to a different country with a different culture because he believes that Canadians need Jesus just as much as Americans do. He left behind everything he knew to proclaim the Gospel in a place where, at many times, he would be the only one doing so. I thank God that there are people out there that are willing to say, "Yes!" to God. People who are willing to go no matter where He sends them, and proclaim the Gospel to the dark parts of the world. I pray that my life will be reflective of my Saviour, and that all I will know in this life is Christ and him crucified. "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." There are workers out there, loving Jesus in the darkest places of the globe.

On a different topic, one of the highlights of the trip for me was when James and I drove down a rocky road that was heading towards the rocky mountains and a snow storm. While we were driving down this road, we spotted a moose grazing. It was beautiful.

An Ode to Chris

26 years ago today, a little squirt of a boy was born, and his parents named him Christopher.
He wasn't anything special right out of the gates, just a normal, homeschooled boy.
As he grew,
Some people knew
That he might be different.
Some people laughed while others got on board.
Soon he had a fan club, even though it never got bigger than 4 people.
He kept on growing,
the world not knowing
that he might be different.
As he entered the strange land of high school/college/home school, things started changing.
His hair started falling out, his guitar skills got crazy mad, and he fell in love.
People started to see a man forming out of mushy stuff and muckyness.
Those around him began to admire the great words of wisdom that came out of his mouth.
He would say things like, "What's that over there?" and, "If God were a pretzel, what shape would he be?"
We didn't understand, but we thought it was funny, so we laughed.
Then, only a few days shy of his 26th birthday, that's right, just a few days ago, he had a son.

I know this ode to Chris is not all encompassing for the man many of us know and the rest wish they knew, but he means a ton to me and so I wanted to show him some love with an ode.

Chris. I love you, and will be walking right beside you for the rest of your life, even though we probably won't live on the same continent and we'll never see each other except when we iChat. You've been there for me when I needed you and I will do my best to always be there for you.

Happy Birthday!!

The Joys of Life

I learned something today!! Actually, I think I re-learned something. But we'll pretend.

I read through the first half of Matthew 7. Jesus was not at all like I tend to picture him. He was a call-it-like-it-is kinda guy. He presented truth in a way that I haven't heard truth presented very often, plainly. In my church planting class this week, we had a guy who works for the Baptist General Convention of Texas. He is heading up the organic church movement in Texas. I think that means he goes around and educates people on what the organic church is and why it is necessary. One of the things he talked about was how we always want to jazz-up everything. We see stories of people, like Jesus, who simply present truth plainly to those who will hear, and leave the rest in the dark. We state in out doctrine this idea that God is the only one who can initiate change in the hearts of men, then we beg and plead with men to change. We say that God's truth is the only thing that can penetrate the hearts of men, then we power point the crap out of things trying to make it appealing for anyone who might possibly be listening. Jesus wasn't about that stuff at all. He just went out and told it like it is to people who would never have had a chance to hear it from anyone else. He went places he wasn't supposed to go, and did things he wasn't supposed to do, and didn't care about what anyone else thought about it. He knew the truth, was the truth, and knew his purpose in life. We look at the disciples and at the 1st century church and wonder how is Christianity supposed to look in our lives today. We look at real discipleship, which involves spending every day with a younger Christian and teaching him everything you know and showing him everything you do as a Christian, and then wonder why our weekly meetings don't go so well and we aren't seeing the results we had hoped for. We have lost our joy in God and replaced it with joy in doing things for God.
Anyways, I just thought I'd share what I got from spending a little time with God this evening. I do love how God is bigger than my circumstances. No matter what's going on in my life, God is still working.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Granddad

Yesterday my 86 year old granddad went home to God. I've been trying to figure out how I feel and how I'm supposed to feel, if there is even such a thing. I genuinely prayed that God would take him home because he wasn't living anymore, but I really miss him. He was truly an awesome man. The chaplain came in and was talking to my grammy and asked what the secret is to being together for 62 years, and she said, "There needs to be more men like my husband." Wow! What a testament to his life. Sure, he wasn't perfect, but he did a lot of things better than most people. He loved his family. Getting the fam together at holidays or random days gave me some of my best childhood memories because my family is amazingly wonderful. I credit most of that to Granddad. He knew how to love people. I have heard story after story these past couple of weeks about people whose lives were touched many years ago by Granddad, and they will never forget him. That blew me away. I knew that he was an awesome man, but I didn't know how far his influence reached.
All in all, I really miss him, but I think I'm more excited for him and where he is. He knows what Jesus looks like! I can't wait to see him again!

Also, I would really appreciate your prayers for Grammy. This is the first time in 62 years she's been without a husband. Pray that she would still find joy in this life, and that this whole thing will pull her even closer to God.

A Litle Pick-me-up

Psalm 118:1
"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
His love endures forever."
Psalm 107:1
"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
His love endures forever."
Psalm 106:1
"Praise the LORD.
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
His love endures forever."

Why do so many of the psalms start out this way?

We forget over and over again that God loves us, and we live our lives in such a way that fails to show others the love of God. The psalmists wrote this as a praise to God, and for others to remember that we can always rejoice and we can always give thanks to the LORD because He loves us and always will. I am beginning to understand how Paul found joy in all situations. Paul understood one simple truth: God is love. He knew that whatever mess he found himself in, whatever beating he took, that God still loved him and that's how he had joy that surpassed all understanding.

Remember today that God loves you. Let this fact shine so brightly through life that it touches someone else today.

What is Love?

Webster's defines love as an affection or feeling towards someone or something.
The Bible defines love as laying down one's life for another.

What does this mean to us? Even if we do figure out some way to define love, how do we do it? How can I love another person? How do I love God?

I am a prideful person. I think of myself as someone who has things pretty much figured out. I am smart, athletic, tall, and posses many qualities seen by the world as good qualities to posses. At the same time, I know that by myself, I am nothing. I am not bad, good, or anywhere in between, I am just nothing. Without the saving knowledge of Christ and Him crucified I am absolutely nothing. Without Christ, nothing I ever do will ever mean anything, nor will it amount to anything of any significance or importance. On the flip side, with Christ everything I do is meant to have eternal significance and importance. I am centering my life and career around this fact and hope that God will use me in some manner for His glory and for the furthering of His kingdom here on Earth.

All that to say that I find myself at times looking at other people who have such a skewed view of God and judging them. I think somehow that I am better than them because God chose me, when in reality, I did nothing to earn this salvation, and I am no better than anyone else ever. God chose me because He wanted to. I did nothing to earn His favor or His grace, He simply loves me and called me to be His son. I am writing to confess my pride and ask that you will pray that somehow I get it through my head that God is everything and I am nothing. I am asked to do things for God and that is what I do. He tells me to love, not judge, so that I what I need to be doing.

That being said, how do I love someone who has such a skewed view of God? Do I simply love them and live my life out in front of them hoping that they will see the truths about God lived out in my life? Do I talk to them in a kind and understanding way about why they believe what they believe? Do I, like Jesus, turn over the tables of their wicked ways and call sin what it is?

In talking this out, I see my pride coming through and have discovered what I need to do. I need to throw myself on the grace and mercy of Christ and pray that God will pull me closer and closer to Him, and that through my getting closer to Him, He will shine through me in ways I can't quite comprehend.

What is love? Love is submitting my life to Christ who called me out of the ashes and letting Him love through me.

Friends

We had some old friends over last night and it was awesome. There are so few people in this world that we really click with instantly and bond with and the Howers are some of those people. Brock and Heather Hower are missionaries in Mexico running a camp and conference center. We have known them for a few years now and have been to their camp a couple of times. They were in town for a day on their way back to Mexico from their home in New Orleans and just had a couple of hours to spend with us, but we loved it. They brought their youngest two kiddos, Rueben and Annie, which was awesome because they are around the same ages as our kids, so they had fun playing with each other. Talking to the Brocks (as I often refer to them) was refreshing because we are so like minded. We both love God and desire to serve Him in a culture other than our own. I love how God gives us people like them to come along side us and rejuvinate our spirits as we make the long journey toward Heaven.

On a crappier side of things, I had my first classes today and it's going to be a rough four months.

Vision

What is vision?

I started reading a book with a buddy of mine called "Visioneering." The book is pretty awesome so far. It helps me put words to a lot of thoughts I've been having. This book's goal seems to be to help the reader understand what having a vision for life is and how to discern that vision through the lenses of Christ in one's life. I will definitely write more on my vision as we progress in the book, but for now I am going to try my best to blog everyday. It may not be great, but it will be from the heart and will hopefully be an encouragement to all my reader.

Today I learned about humility. I tend to be a proud man. I have some really cool skills (like numchucks) and gifts, and a lot of the time I tend to rely on my own gifts to get by in life instead of recognizing that I am really nothing and Christ is the only way anything in my life will have any impact on anything. As I was having a conversation over lunch, I began to see why I'm not ready to be a pastor. I hate it, but the guy I was talking to was right. He told me how I need to be humbled leading adults to understand how to lead. I didn't want to hear it at the time, but I do desperately need humility in order for me to get out of the way of God in my life. I saw this again tonight at my small group Bible study. We were talking about prayer requests and I began to think to myself, "I'm way closer to God than all these guys." In reality, I've been somewhat depressed lately because I haven't been spending time with God reading and praying and meditating on Him because I've been too wrapped up in video games and movies. God smacked me in the face tonight. I can only hope and pray that I will learn from this experience and that God will continue to teach me that I am nothing without Him.


Thanks for reading

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