Update

To all my reader out there, I've been really busy lately with finishing this semester and working a ton and trying to get some sort of ministry in that I haven't had time to write. I am still learning and still doing whatever I can to further the Kingdom of God in this world, although it feels as though other things have snuck up and taken priority. I know this is wrong, but it's what I'm dealing with at this time in my life. This next semester, I will be attempting to graduate college so I will be taking a ton of classes and I will also be attempting to put food on the table at home so I will be working a ton of hours, so I'm sorry in advance for not writing much over the next few months. That being said, I have had some awesome opportunities to share Christ with a few co-workers, although it hasn't turned out like I wanted it to. I also have an awesome opportunity to preach this week at my church, Grace Bible Church, here in Killeen, TX. I will be talking about John the Baptist, specifically in Matthew 3, and examining his life and ministry. I appreciate your prayers and love during this stressful season in my life and also for my preaching, that I would get out of the way and let God speak through me. Anyways, I'll try to write as much as I can.

What do they say?

Working in a restaurant I hear a TON of people talking about other people when those people aren't around, and it made me think. What do people say about me when I'm not there? I believe that people would have nothing but nice things to say about me. I don't know if I like that or not. I'm pretty sure that when Jesus was here, everyone talked about him when he wasn't around, and I'd be willing to say that most people talked pretty bad about him. He was stubborn, rebellious, insubordinate to the religious leaders, and he broke a lot of rules. He also loved people whom no one else loved. It would've been cool to be there and listen to what people said about Jesus.
I also think it's fair to say that people didn't talk that nicely about Paul when he wasn't there. He was ignorant, uncontrollable, and you never knew what he was going to say, because he spoke from the heart no matter who was there to hear it. He was 100% committed to God no matter what the cost, even people talking bad about him behind his back.
I want to live a life of love, both for God and for people. I want to speak truth all the time, even when it hurts to hear. I want people, when they talk about me, to talk about God, and how crazy it is that I live my life entirely relying on God. I think if a non-Christian could say that about my life, then it would mean I'm doing something right.

What do you think people say about you when you're not there?

Mediocrity

I desire to be something great, and to do great things, but lately I feel doomed to a mediocre life. Right now, I am in the midst of preparation for some truly awesome things, but it seems as though these things will never come to pass. I have always been pretty good at everything I've done. I was one of the smarter ones in school, I was always one of the more athletic kids, and even in church I have been put in leadership roles, but I feel as though I've never been great at anything. I desire to find what I am great at and then use that gift for God in whatever manner I can. I have tried and failed at a number of different things, and it's starting to get frustrating. I keep asking God where I am supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing, but I can't seem to figure it out. So I just keep on failing. I will keep on failing until one day I find greatness, not for me but for God. I am not taking away from God what is rightfully His, the power to govern my life and decide what I will or won't do, and I'm also not replacing God with doing things for Him, but I feel at a stand still. I guess the devil is better at what he does than I originally thought. He has been hitting me from every angle since I let go of everything I wanted and sacrificed my life for God's will. Every time something seems to be headed in the right direction, something comes up that takes me back a step. Maybe it's just called sanctification, and it hurts. I talked with a friend just today about how we continue to work out our salvation and it will continually hurt, but I just wish that, for once, things would go as planned. I will not give up, though. I will continue to fight for what I know God is calling me to, and I will continue to fight to be closer and closer to God. I just don't really know where to point my sword at the moment. Maybe I'm just lying to myself by telling myself that I am meant to be great, or maybe I just need to shake off my immature Christian dreams of changing the world. I feel as though I owe it to God to do all I can do to increase the size of the kingdom by as much as I can, and yes I know it's really not me but God using me and allowing me to be a part of His work, but sometimes I wish there were something in it for me here on Earth.



It's a constant battle, hints the name of the blog, fighting my sinful and fleshly desires and reaching up to the hands of God always ready to take me where He can best use me.



"You never said it would be easy. But You said You'd see me through the storm." - Mark Schultz

My Cross to Bear

Luke 9:23 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
- Jesus

"I'd like to find the guy who called this an easy life and call him the liar that he is, cause by now I've lived long enough to know it's uphill in the snow and barefoot most the time.
They cast it like a lure with TBN brochures and say, "Your troubles are behind you." But they lie, it's not that cut and dry, they falsely advertise, covering up the truth."

"I wish they'd show me where it says my cross to bear is really just an illustration."
- Andy Gullahorn "The Broken Places"

Far to many "Christians" today are forgetting that the Christian life is not promised to be an easy one. In fact, we are told that if we want to be true Christians, we will deny ourselves every day, carry the cross with Christ, and forsake everything else to follow God. That is what a real Christian is, someone who chases after God no matter what the cost. I am tired of pansy, fake religion, claiming to be Christianity. If John the Baptist came to America's churches today, I think his words would be much harsher than, "You brood of vipers." If Paul came to visit our churches on Sunday morning, I would bet that he wouldn't let the service last longer than 10 minutes before he started tearing down the walls and calling people out. And if Jesus were to sit down in a pew in the USA, he wouldn't sit longer than 3 seconds before he became so infuriated with "Christians," and he would be much more angry than when he turned over the tables in the Temple.

What happened guys?

Where is our passion?

How did we go from tons of Christians dying every day to a watered-down form of religion that says it's ok for Homosexuals to serve in the church, that says Christians are supposed to be nice people and not offend anyone, that is afraid to share the Gospel, which is the power of God for salvation, because we don't want to "turn people off from God?"

I am certainly not pointing a finger, as I too have failed to live up to my calling as a child of the Almighty many times. I am simply stating what I see as Christianity's biggest problem today. We have lost our first love. We are so caught up in our clothes, cars, houses, decor, you name it. We have let go of the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."

We have lost our first love.

Uncle Cam

I just finished reading about a truly awesome man, William Cameron Townsend! For those of you unfamiliar with Uncle Cam, as he was known, he was the founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators/ SIL. Today, they have translated at least parts of the Bible into over 1000 different languages!!! I love reading about people who got it. People who understood that this life is about nothing more than loving God and loving people. Uncle Cam got it. He lived his life to the fullest knowing that this is only a short transition into eternity, and now he's up in Heaven partying with God! As I rapidly read through the pages of this exciting book, my prayer for my life is that God will use me to change the nations and get people excited about God. I pray that I will not allow anything this world offers me to get in the way of spreading the Gospel to the uttermost parts of the earth. I pray that my life will be a reflection of God's love for everyone, and that people will be able to see Jesus through my actions and hear Him in my words. I pray that through me, God will bring a revolution in a quickly dying church, and that He would catch people on fire with the Word. I pray that God would move in the lives of Christ-followers all over the world to reach out to those around them and let people know the good news of Christ and Him crucified. I pray for courage for those who face death everyday for being proud of Christ. I pray for conviction for those "Christians" who have let the world and its vices become more important to them than the almighty creator of the universe. I pray for wokers for the harvest God is preparing. I pray for Christians to catch a global view of God's love, and commit themselves to sharing Christ with the whole world. I pray for everyday Christians to knock on the door of their neighbors and share the hope that they have in Christ Jesus. I pray for passion among Christians to see the WHOLE WORLD WORSHIPPING THE ONE TRUE GOD!!! I beg God for the souls of the lost. And most importantly, I pray for the glory of God to be seen and praised in churches in every nation, by every tongue, from every person.

To William Cameron Townsend,
I will see you in Heaven with plenty of stories to share about how God used a simple man like me to accomplish His will in this world. Thanks for setting an example for the rest of us on how to be truly used by God to show His love to the world. Heaven is bigger because you let God use you.

Mission

What is mission? What is missions? What is the difference between the two?

Mission is described as the special task or purpose for which a person is apparently destined in life. Your mission is your goal, your purpose. As Christians, our mission is to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Matthew 28 18-20. Also, I believe that God designed each person with a specific mission in mind. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. With that in mind? What is my mission?

My mission has to do with missions? Being a missionary can still mean a lot of things. I know missionaries who live here in the States. Missionaries have all sorts of different tasks and goals. Most of the time when we think of a missionary we think of an international missionary, which is what God has called me to do.

We should all live with a mission in mind of reaching the lost and strengthening the found. We should live lives worthy of the cause for which we have been called in Christ Jesus. And in doing that, God will show us where in the body of Christ He wants us to serve.

That being said, my wife and I feel a very strong call to minister to the body overseas somewhere. We are both excited and scared at the same time. I was sitting at a stop light the other day and thinking to myself, "When we go, we're not going to get to see any of our friends or family. I can't just call up my pastor here and meet him for a cup of coffee whenever I please." This thought really scared me. Then I was reminded of the fact that these plans are not mine, but God's. When God places a call on someone's life, He will give the strength it takes to complete the task at hand.

Just thought I'd share that with you. Please be in prayer for us as we begin the process of looking at missionary organizations, and as we continue praying for a specific destination.

Barbarian Way

I feel that I should start this blog by telling you that I have not been much of a reader growing up. Even now, it's been hard to pick up a book and start reading. That being said, I understand that there are people out there that have more insight and widsom about God than I do right now simply because they've been experiencing God longer than I have. I recently had some time to kill away from home, so I stopped in my local Christian bookstore to graze the "Christian Living" section for something that looked exciting. I am learning to be a bargain shopper, because I don't have a lot of money, so I was looking for something on sale. I wasn't looking for a cheap book because I believe that you usually get what you pay for, but I didn't really want to pay full-price for a book. Almost immediately a book's title caught my eye. It was The Barbarian Way, by Erwin Raphael McManus. In the past, when I did read I would usually stick to the few authors who I have come to respect as great Christian men, but I have been on a big "adventurous" kick, so I picked it up. The next thing I saw on the cover was "2 books in 1 volume." This got me really excited! I was getting a book on sale, and it was 2 books in 1. Anyways, I decided I'd give it a shot. I paid for my book, got in my car, and drove to where I needed to be in an hour. When I got there, I rolled down my windows, propped my feet up on the dash, and began to read.

The Book

At first, The Barbarian Way seemed just like other books from John Eldredge and Mike Yaconelli. I thought, "Great. Another writer making money off of the same ideas everyone else writes about." I wanted something new and fresh. Something that I could really sink my teeth into, and tell all my friends about. Anyways, I kept reading. The more I kept reading, the more I wanted to hear. Now keep in mind that I'm not much of a reader, and I haven't read a whole book in a long time. I finished the book in 3 days! I was reading it in the morning after my time in the Word. I was reading it when my girls were napping. And I was even staying up late at night to read (which is very strange because I don't usually get a lot of sleep). That being said, I don't think I would put this book on a must-read list or in my top 5, but reading this book was definately not time wasted. My favorite thing about The Barbarian Way was the fact that there is someone else out there who gets it. McManus understands that when we spend our lives chasing after the one who created us and loved us enough to send His son to die on the cross for our sins, we don't fit in with this fallen world. When we seek after the Lord of Lords, we often come across as barbarians, and radicals. We don't care what people think or say or do to us, because we know without a shadow of a doubt that we are in the will of God and that's all that matters. I desperately desire to soar through this life with reckless abandon, not caring about anything other than my savior and my Lord. Period. My biggest prayer in life, is that God would use me to change the world. Not just my little sphere of influence, but the WHOLE WORLD!!! And I believe HE can do it through me and others like me who are willing to throw all caution to the wind and chase after God. Another thing I really like about McManus, is his differentiation between civilized "Christians," and followers of Christ. The church today, especially in America, has lost it's zeal for God. We have forgotten that the 1st century church was a group of rebels. They were thrown out of their cities, beaten, stoned, thrown before lions in arenas for everyone to watch. They were being killed in droves. I have to say, that if the 1st century church was made up of a bunch of today's "Christians," I don't think there would have been any problem. Christians back then weren't worried about being nice people, or kind neighbors. They were passionately seeking their freedom-giver. They understood that to know God meant they had to tell everyone else. Not just those who wanted to hear them, but EVERYONE!

Paul

Paul from the New Testament is one of my favorite people in all of the Bible. I love his passion. Here's how I envision Paul from reading the NT.

Paul goes into a city. The leaders of the city know who he is and what he wants. He wants to preach Christ as Messiah and they will have nothing to do with him. They say to Paul, "Listen Paul. We know who you are and we know what you do. You can't preach here. If you do, we're going to beat you with rods." Paul says in response, "I understand. You gotta do what you gotta do. But just listen real quick. Jesus loves you and he died for your si......." They start hitting him with sticks, and leave him for dead outside the walls of the city. Paul heals up and comes back a few days later. Again they tell him, "You're not welcome here. Leave or we'll stone you." Paul says, "Cool, just listen real quick. Let me tell you about Jesus." They start throwing rocks at him, and leave him for dead outside the walls. Paul comes back a few days later, looking a little bruised. "Paul, we don't want you here. GO AWAY!!" He responds, "Ok, just let me tell you about Jesus real quick." This time they up the ante. They give him the ultimate punishment, the 39 lashes. They don't hear from Paul for a little bit. They think they finally got rid of him. He comes back a week and a half later, walking with a limp. He says, "Let me tell you about Jesus."

How many people to you know who have been beaten for their faith. How many "Christians" do you know who have faced any kind of persecution at all. Hard to think of very many. Christians in America today are weak. We have forgotten who it is that we serve, and how powerful He really is. We have forgotten the call to take up our crosses daily and follow Him. We have forgotten that we share in the death of Christ. We have forgotten that our God is an all-consuming fire. It's time to step up and take back what is rightfully God's, the souls of the world. God has a mission for you. He calls you to go to the ends of the Earth, introducing people to the King of Kings, and inviting them to encounter the greatest being of the universe. Will you go?

The Blog

I have decided to start writing down what I am learning/ experiencing in my daily life with God. I am not looking to do anything other than simply write down my thoughts, prayers, struggles, and anything else God lays on my heart. I hope and pray that through this blog, you will be able to learn something new about God and gain excitement about the fact that we serve the most loving being in the universe.