Total Depravity

The following is taken from "Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine." By Wane Grudem. It can be found in chapter 24, on page 497.
"In our natures we totally lack spiritual good before God: It is not just that some parts of us are sinful and others are pure. Rather, every part of our being is affected by sin - our intellects, our emotions and desires, our hearts (the center of our desires and decision-making processes), our goals and motives, and even our physical bodies."
"In our actions we are totally unable to do spiritual good before God: This idea is related to the previous one. Not only do we as sinners lack any spiritual good in ourselves, but we also lack the ability to do anything that will in itself please God and the ability to come to God in our own strength."

As I write this, I feel the weight of it. God is holy and perfect and pure and righteous and glorified and I am so far on the other end that I war against those things. I was created perfectly and in relationship with God for the purpose of bringing glory to Him, but because of sin I broke that relationship with God and was no longer able to be in community with Him. In my state of death and destruction, I was not even able to see my need to get out of death and destruction. I was ruining myself with a downward spiral of sin that would eventually lead to death and eternal wrath as a punishment for my sin. This is total depravity.

Ephesians 2:1-3 (ESV)
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind."

Doesn't sound good does it? This is scary. I was by nature a child of wrath. In my state of total depravity, I was so unable to love God that I was living in the passions of my flesh, completely disregarding God and his purpose for me and my life.

Romans 3:10-11: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God."

Even as I talk through this I understand my depravity better. I am learning from me telling my wife what total depravity is. Even in my understanding of depravity I am depraved.

I don't write this to discourage anyone, only to encourage Bible-centered beliefs which will lead to right action and the glory of God. If you are discouraged by this please call me and I would love to talk to you, or post a comment and I will respond. Also, if you don't understand or agree with this, let me know and let's talk about it. I always desire to learn more and more about how God operates because it always leads me to a great appreciation of who he is, which brings him more glory.